227th Reflection💬

“Asking in prayers, for what❓”

For more communication with and understanding of my Lord.

……

15/03/2022 (Tue) 21:00 Zoom

Choir

The vice principal asked a graduate to orchestrate the music for the summer musical. She invited him to give a sharing about his orchestration work.

Vice Principal said, “Sounds great?”

Classmates said, “Bravo.”

Vice Principal said, “Great. The sharing is done. Any questions?”

I switched on the zoom microphone.

I said, “I’ve got a question.”

Vice Principal said, “OK.”

I said, “Tim’s orchestration sounds appealing to me. Can I buy the full score?”

Vice Principal said, “The full score? I’ve shown it to all of you by the sharing the screen on zoom.”

I said, “The several pieces of music go really fast. It’s gone in a few minutes. And the zoom screen is so small. I can’t even read his orchestration choices before the second piece comes.”

Vice Principal said, “Really?”

I said, “I want to buy the full score so that I can look into it in details and find out why it sounds so appealing to me.”

Vice Principal said, “Oh, this isn’t intended to be for sale. This is a piece of music work that the school commissioned Tim to do.”

I said, “I know. But I wonder if you can consider my suggestion. Once it is for sale, I’ll buy it.”

Vice Principal said, “Let me think. Any other questions?”

Classmates remain silent.

Vice Principal said, “So no more questions? Alright, dismiss.”

……

10/05/2022 (Tue) 18:50 Tuck Shop, Hong Kong International Institute of Music

I was pouring my dinner in my mouth to catch up with the choir practices at 7pm. When I was picking up a piece of salt and pepper pork chop, I saw the vice principal walking to the lift.

I said, “Hi, Vice principal.”

Vice Principal said, “Here you are. Right, I’ve got something for you.”

I said, “Something for me?”

Vice Principal said, “Yes.”

I said, “What’s that?”

Vice Principal said, “The full score.”

I said, “Wow, wonderful, thank you very very very much.”

……

Another me said, “Walao, what’s wrong with the Lord?”

I said, “Never is there anything wrong with the Lord.”

Another me said, “But the Lord says if we His children ask for fish, He’ll give us good gifts.”

I said, “The full score, to a first-year diploma student majoring in composition, like me, is indeed a very good gift.”

Another me said, “But the problem is you ask for fish and you are given a fish - you ask for the full score and you are given the full score!”

I said, “Nothing wrong, is it? The Lord never says he doesn’t give a fish if we ask for a fish.”

Another me said, “It’s been a long time since I asked the Lord for something!”

I said, “Why?”

Another me said, “The Lord’s sovereign. He makes His own decisions. I’ve no say, have I?”

I said, “What do you mean? Don’t go around in circles. Be direct!”

Another me said, “I ask for a fish but the Lord most probably won’t give me a fish. I’d better stop asking. I simply accept whatever He gives me…and save myself some energy."

I said, “I get it. The Lord’s rejected your request. You voice your rejection through your passivity in disguise as your obedience.

Another me said, “No, I’m not passive. I’m simply willing to accept whatever the Lord gives me. Being a Christian for quite a long time, I’m just a bit more experienced and more skilful in my prayers.”

I said, “Stop your fuzzy logic! If you’d ever been that willing to accept whatever the Lord gives you, why on earth would you have questioned what’s wrong with the Lord in the first place?”

Another me said, “A reasonable question. You ask for the full score and the Lord asks the vice principal to hand you a full score.”

I said, “The Lord never says He won’t give a full score if I ask for a full score and He won’t give a fish if we ask for a fish.”

Another me said, “Were the Lord not to give you the full score, would you still have asked Him?

I said, “Had you ever heard that the Lord would give me the full score before I asked for it?”

Another me said, “No….Why do you still ask the Lord without knowing whether or not He will give you what you ask for?

I said, “It is always not until I have asked Him before He tells me His answer.”

Another me said, “Hey, How many things don’t you know? How often do you ask the Lord?”

I said, “I talk with the Lord all the time. Anything, no matter big or trivial, I’ll ask Him. I ask Him whatever comes up into my mind.”

Another me said, “You talk too much. Don’t you find yourself annoying?”

I said, “He’s my Lord. I’ve got a relationship with Him. He’s the closest one to me. He isn’t someone I sometimes come across at some corner of some street. I ask Him for whatever I want to know. I ask Him for whatever I want to get.”

Another me said, “Don’t act like a kid now that you’re already 30 something. Don’t you find yourself embarrassing?

I said, “What’s so embarrassing? Don’t you call the Lord your father in your prayers? It’s normal for a son to ask His father. If he doesn’t, it’s weird.”

Another me said, “Do you consider yourself a new believer? You made your commitment in 2009 and got baptised in 2012. You’ve been a believer for more than 10 years. You don’t restrain yourself in asking the Lord. Do you know He’s sovereign?”

I said, “I simply ask but I never force a “yes” from the Lord. I welcome Him to accept or reject my requests after listening to me.”

Another me said, “If the Lord still gives you a rejection after your countless requests, you will lose face and all your efforts will turn in vain!”

I said, “Walao…oh my majesty! You’re so worried about your face that you won’t accept any rejection from the Lord. And you once experienced His rejection and never ask Him for anything agin, right? You even count the amount of effort you pay. Do you expect to have confirmed a ‘yes’ from the Lord before you ask Him?”

Another me said, “What else are you asking for other than a direct ‘yes’ from the Lord?”

I said, “For more communication with and understanding of Him, my Lord.”