274th Reflection 💬

“Peace, where to find❓”

Trust the Lord, walk.

…….

18/11/2021 (Thu) 12:00  Home

I handed over several banknotes to my mum.

I said, “For household expenses.”

Mum counted them one by one.

Mum said, “Right amount.”

I packed my stuff.

Dad said, “You go out immediately you return from the sports complex.”

I said, “Yes.”

Dad said, “Music again?”

I said, “Yes.”

Dad said, “It’s your holiday. You do music even on holiday?”

I said, “It’s on holiday that I have time to do music. I don’t have enough time for it on weekdays.”

Dad said, “Let’s stay behind with Pei Pei.”

I said, “I stay with Pei Pei every morning. I’m walking Pei Pei and Tung Tung at 6 a.m. every morning. You saw us back this morning. Can you see?”

Dad said, “Last night, Pei Pei was waiting for you. She won’t get to sleep if you aren’t back.”

I said, “Let her not sleep then. She doesn’t work.”

Dad said, “It’s disturbing Pei Pei doesn’t sleep. I just can’t sleep.”

I said, “Leave her unattended if tired. If you ignore her, she won’t disturb you.”

Mum said, “Why do you talk so much with him? He won’t listen to you. He takes no responsibility.”

I said, “Do you know what you’re talking about? Will an irresponsible son pay you the household expenses?”

Mum said, “I don’t mean this. I mean now that you’ve bought the two pets here, but you care so much about your music that you leave them unattended, or even dead.”

I said, “Are you that forgetful? I stopped my music and took Pei Pei to the doctor in Hung Hom. I spent as much as $1,000. You were here. You told me the doctor was quite good.”

Mum said, “Dad, you said, what did we give birth to?”

Dad said, “A disgusting log.”

I said, “That’s it. Here I go.”

……

Another me said, “Leave your mum behind at home for music. Isn’t it bad?”

I said, “She’s once left on her own before. Now her partner was back. The Lord’s had him back home since 2007, and their relationship being restored. Now they’re directing against me together.”

Another me said, “But isn’t it not good to leave the two elderly home on their own for your music?”

I said, “The Lord knows they’re worried about being lonely. He’s guided me to buy Pei Pei and Tung Tung as their company. Now they care about them more than me.”

Another me said, “But you first got in touch with music in 2005. After as long as 15 years already before you commenced your studies in a college in 2020, why didn’t they still give you a little bit more support so far?”

I said, “I want to know too. Can you help asking them?”

Another me said, “Will it be possible that the Lord wants to show you He doesn’t want you to devote yourself to studying music through your parents’ reactions? Maybe He wants you to spend more time with them.”

I said, “You’ve forgotten it again? Take pills if you have. I want to study music seriously and the Lord found me Hong Kong Institute of Music. I need money for music. I lost myself here in this college and He found me one in another. I want to concentrate on my music studies. He found me a church sister that shared a band room with me. Despite all that, you still consider the Lord does not support me to go on my music studies, don’t you?”

Another me said, “But you’re leaving behind your old parents for your music. After all, I just don’t feel myself in peace about it.”

I said, “Do you trust that the Lord will take good care of them?”

Another me said, “Yes, I do. The Lord drove your dad back from the verge of death. Your mum is still doing well at the moment. But in case, just in case, something bad happens.”

I said, “Do you trust that the Lord will remind them of calling me or my sister when they find themselves in need?”

Another me said, “Yes. Both have got a smartphone. They can surf on the net. But I just find myself unsettled and not in peace at all.”

I said, “The Lord’s done so much. How come you aren’t still in peace? How can you rest in peace? Not until you be the Lord?”

Another me said, “I don’t feel in peace merely because I am still not certain whether studying music is the most suitable for you.”

I said, “What I trust is, whatever the Lord’s arranged me is the best, the most suitable. That’s it. I get to go.”

Another me said, “Where are you going? I don’t find myself in peace yet”

I said, “I’m going with my peace, who is called Jesus Christ, back to our band room to work on Logic Pro X. Bye.”