295th Reflection💬

“A chance that you don’t deserve, the Lord gives and I can get it❓”

I need to keep seeking it, however high the price I pay.

…….

27/07/2023 (Thu) 17:00

Another me said, “You’ve been leading the ensemble groups for your composition recitals for nearly a year. Have you ever been in an ensemble before?”

I said, “Once, piano duet.”

Another me said, “Only piano? No other instruments? But you’ve composed 4 pieces involving 8 different instruments and 11 instrumentalists.”

I said, “I have no other Ensemble experience.”

Another me said, “What are you going to do? Stay being a computer expert, only composing but no playing?” 

I said, “No.”

Another me said, “No. Then let’s look for some ensemble opportunities.”

I said, “OK.”

Another me said, “Which instrument are you going to play?”

I said, “Clarinet.”

Another me said, “Great. Where to go for the ensemble? Hong Kong Academy of Performing Arts (HKAPA)?”

I said, “APA doesn’t work for me.”

Another me said, “Why?”

I said, “Those in APA are too strong for me.”

Another me said, “How about the Orchestra of Hong Kong International Institute of Music (HKIIM)?”

I said, “IIM doesn’t work for me.”

Another me said, “Why?”

I said, “Even the audition requires ABRSM Grade 6. I don’t even have grade 1. Let me ask the Lord.”

Another me said, “Stop it! Don’t bother the Lord. No way out.”

I said, “I found it.”

Another me said, “You found it?”

I said, “Yes, Hong Kong Music Institute (HKMI). She’s got an ensemble training group. No certificate is needed. All I need is to pass the audition.”

Another me said, “Ask about the details.”

…….

27/07/2023 (Thu) 17:15 HKMI

I called HKMI。

I said, “Hello, I’ve got some questions about the ensemble training group.”

Staff said, “Alright. What’s your name?”

I said, “I’m Yip.”

Staff said, “Good afternoon, yip.”

I said, “I’d like to know how to enrol in the ensemble training group.”

Staff said, “You need to make an appointment for audition. You can sign in once you’ve passed the audition.”

I said, “May I have an appointment for the audition now?”

Staff said, “Sure. Please hold on Let me ask the instructor for the details of the audition.”

I said, “Thank you.

A moment later.

Staff said, “Hi, Yip.”

I said, “Yes.”

Staff said, “Our instructor of the ensemble teasing group, Hui sir replied, please come for the audition at 19:59 of August 30 (Wed). Please prepare to perform some music for 3 to 6 minutes and bring the instructor your score. If needed, there may be a sight reading test and and an interview.”

I said, “Get it. See you then.”

……

31/08/2023 (Wed) 19:50 HKMI

I said, “I’m coming for the audition.”

Staff said, “This room please.”

…….

I entered the room.

Hui sir said, “Good, Yip, which do you want to go first, clarinet or interview?”

I said, “Clarinet.”

Hui sir said, “OK. How many pieces?”

I said, “Two.”

Hui sir said, “Their names?”

I said, “The Miller of Dee and Piece of Eight.”

Hui sir said, “Start.”

I finished the performance.

Hui sir said, “Nervous.”

I said, “Yes.”

Hui sir said, “Your pitch and rhythm are fairly accurate. But, once nervous, I’ll have my clarinet squeak.

I said, “Yes, you did have your clarinet squeak.”

Hui sir said, “Frankly, you’re at an elementary level. Our group members are already at a certain level. You just can’t be too weak.”

I said, “So?”

Hui sir said, “How long have you been learning clarinet?”

I said, “2 months.”

Hui sir said, “2 months? You can attain the current level in 2 months?” 

I said, “Yes.”

Hui sir said, “How long have you prepared for these two pieces?”

I said, “One month.”

Hui sir said, “Is this your first instrument?”

I said, “No, it is the piano.”

Hui sir said, “You’ve a fairly good music foundation and learn quite fast. Alright, you can be admitted only if you agree to the followings.”

I said, “What are they?”

Hui sir said, “First, you can only play something simple this year. You’ll be given something a little more complex when you’ve got a higher ability.”

I said, “OK.”

Hui sir said, “Second, you have to attend as many ensemble trainings as possible. You lack experience. Every practice matters to you.”

I said, “OK.”

Hui sir said, “Third, you have to practise really hard at home. I’ll monitor your progress. If you can’t attain the required level before the performance, you may not be allowed to attend.”

I said, “OK.”

Hui sir said, “If all are ok, go to the office, fill in the registration form, and settle the course fee there.”

I said, “OK.”

……

Another me said, “You don’t deserve it.”

I said, “What?”

Another me said, “You’re weak. You don’t deserve the admission into the ensemble training.”

I said, “I know.”

Another me said, “If you do, why do you sign up and pay?”

I said, “Hui sir accepted me. Why don’t I sign up?”

Another me said, “Aren’t you shameful? What if you can’t handle it?”

I said, “I’ll practise hard.”

Another me said, “Practise hard? Who can’t say it? If you can handle it, you’ll burden others. Trash.”

I said, “If I can’t, Hui Yu will kick me out.”

Another me said, “Even if it is possible for you to be rejected from the performance after a year of practice, you still sign up?”

I said, “Yes! I don’t want to be a computer expert who composes with some music software.” 

Another me said, “What do you want to do?”

I said, “I want to be a composer with real-life ensemble experience who can understand the needs of his instrumentalists. Now that the Lord has granted me a chance that I don’t deserve and Hui sir has accepted my application, should I still waver and keep myself from signing up?”