263rd Reflection💬

“Peace, how to choose❓”

By letting go of the circumstances, whole-heartedly seeking and humbly accepting any way out that the Lord has prepared.

…….

13/01/2023 (Fri) 18:00 Band Room

When I was preparing for the 2nd practice of the first piece at 20:30 p.m., my mobile phone rang.

Classmate said, “Excuse me.”

I said, “What’s up?”

Classmate said, “I’ve dropped my saxophone to the ground and broke it.”

I said, “What? So how about tonight’s practice?”

Classmate said, “I can’t return.”

I said, “Next time then.”

Classmate said, “I don’t think I can either.”

I said, “Why?”

Classmate said, “I need to have the saxophone repaired but I don’t know how long it takes. And my schedule’s changed. I’ll probably be absent from a lot of practices.”

I said, “What?”

……

Another me said, “What’s wrong with your classmate? Terrible. Why did she drop the saxophone not any earlier, not any later, but today? What to do now?”

I said, “What are you so mad about?”

Another me said, “I can’t but be mad. I’m doomed.”

I said, “What are you doomed to?”

Another me said, “One of the three core instruments of your piece is missing. One-third has gone. Who could stay calm?”

I said, “I can.”

Another me said, “How could you? Fine, find yourself a new saxophone now.”

I said, “……”

Another me said, “You don’t know saxophone. You don’t know anybody who plays saxophone. How could I be not mad?”

I said, “Stay calm. The Lord is always here watching us. He always shows me some way out.”

Another me said, “Which way? Show me!”

I said, “Find another saxophone.”

Another me said, “Where to find?”

I said, “I have no idea yet…..If I can’t find another saxophone, I can use whatever instrument I can find.”

Another me said, “Use whatever instrument you can find? The piece is originally written for saxophone.”

I said, “I wrote it. I can re-write it for another instrument.”

Another me said, “You know how?”

I said, “A little. If I can, I’ll ask my teacher for help.”

Another me said, “Who are you? Why should your teacher help you? This is not something related to the curriculum, but your own personal matter.”

I said, “I can pay for a private tutor instead.”

Another me said, “How much money and how many troubles again?”

I said, “I pay and I compose. Why bother? If this is the way that the Lord’s prepared for me, I’ll take however much money and however many troubles it costs.”

Another me said, “You sounds confident. You’ve found another instrument?”

I said, “Not yet.”

Another me said, “Close file then.”

……

Classmate said, “I’ve found you another saxophone.”

I said, “What?”

Classmate said, “He’s my friend, even more skilful than I’m.”

I said, “Really?”

Classmate said, “I’m grade 8 in saxophone. He’s FTCL.”

I said, “Wow!”

Classmate said, “Let me send you his number. Contact him.”

I said, “Great.”

I reached an agreement with the new saxophone and had the vacancy filled.

……

Another me said, “No wonder why you can stay in peace. Because you’ve prepared yourself a new saxophone.”

I said, “I prepared it?”

Another me said, “No, your classmate.”

I said, “It’s the Lord that asked my classmate to prepare it.”

Another me said, “You read others’ mind, don’t you? How do you know your classmate has prepared you another saxophone?”

I said, “I don’t know. What happens next, nobody knows but the Lord.”

Another me said, “Why are you so calm?”

I said, “I’ve faith that the Lord always watches over me.”

Another me said, “Stop your empty talk. Hang up and look for a solution.”

I said, “If I’d hung up so soon, how could I have heard from my classmate about the new saxophone that the Lord has prepared for me?”

Another me said, “So when you have a saxophone, you have peace, right?”

I said, “Wrong! Do you remember how I had been behaving before my classmate told me about the new saxophone?”

Another me said, “How could I have noticed your behaviour when I was getting worried?”

I said, “I stayed quite calm and listened carefully to my classmate.”

Another me said, “How could you stay so calm?”

I said, “Because I chose to stay with peace, the Lord.”

Another me said, “How to choose to stay with peace, the Lord?”

I said, “First, I chose to reject being like you. When the circumstances turn a little against what you want, you become so mad that you shut your ears, close your eyes, and ignored whatever those around you say, but instead lose your temper and cut calls.”

Another me said, “You’re so mean. You picked on me. How about the second point?”

I said, “Second, however costly and hard the way is, as long as it is the one the Lord shows me to, I’ll follow.”

Another me said, “If the Lord had not prepared another saxophone for you, would you still have followed?”

I said, “Whichever instrument the Lord allows me to find, I will take it. I’ll pay for the tuition and try my best to rearrange my piece to another instrument. I told you who I am now.”

Another me said, “Who are you?”

I said, “I’m a composer-to-be.”