YipWH Testimony 2022 - "Step onto the Unknown"

Now I realise, until August 2020, I have been looking for the direction for my personal development. In December 2015, I started leading a Bible study class, which was yet like a continuation of weekday teaching. In 2017, I tried disciple training, which was yet like a continuation of the endless conversation with the young adults that I meet in the university in weekdays. In June 2018, I served as the church interpreter, which was yet like a return to the interpretation room of the translation department during my undergraduate studies. In September 2019, I joined the evangelism team. I indeed walked up onto the street but I simply told the gospel and let it go. I did not have the patience to carry on a lengthy conversation with the ones that I approached. I could conclude my 5 years of service in three words -  “Not that devoted”.

Since the outbreak of the coronavirus in early 2020, the Bible study stopped, disciple training stopped, interpretation stopped, evangelism stopped, and even the HKCNP mentorship programme that awaited commencement stopped. The only thing left going on is music.

In 2009, I first got in touch with music. I learnt piano from my secondary classmate, one lesson a week. Several years later, I passed ABRSM Piano Grade 5. Right at the same time, my classmate went abroad for practicum. I took a short break and enrolled in a music theory course in Hong Kong Academy of Performing Arts (HKAPA) and passed ABRSM Music Theory Grade 5. Then,I took another short break and enrolled in an introduction course to music composition and arrangement in the study centre of Hong Kong Federation of Trade Union (HKFTU). After that, I carried on learning from the instructor and passed ABRSM Music Theory Grade 8. Since then, I was stuck somewhere along my music learning.

Some day after all my church service and ended, I came up with music once again. I looked for somewhere for amateurs to learn music. Finally, I found Hong Kong International Institute of Music. I followed the website guidance to the course outline page. Shocked! I was so shocked how professional the music course could look! If I were to pursue music, the amount of money and time that I have to pay is far from my expectation. There were 4 nights of classes every week, homework and endless practices. All of a sudden, I fell into a dilemma: How much price did I have to pay altogether? How much money, time and effort did I have to pay in order to the reach the goal that I intend?    

Instantly, I prayed. I bargained with the Lord. I said, “Lord, if you really desire me to whole-heartedly study music, please help answer the following two requests.” First, change my family. Get them to support me. The music-learning journey is so long and challenging that I can hardly fully commit myself to it if my family has not been well settled in the first place. Second, bless me with more stable income. It takes quite a considerable amount to learn music, especially the tuition fee for individual coaching. I can hardly sustain it without a sound financial backup.  

In August 2020, I received a notification from HKBU: “No contract.” I was bewildered. The Lord not only rejected providing me with more stable income, but even moved me out of where I had been for working for as long as 10 years. I lost two-third of my future income after this notification. I told Maggie His arrangement. Fortunately, I felt a little better after the talk.

Meanwhile, I tried to tell my parents my desire to study music. Far before I launched my study plan, I was bombarded with loads of criticism, “Don’t waste time, You’ve got no music talent at all, shit-stirrer, doomed to failure, stop it now, no more daydreaming, don’t think about asking for financial support, don’t pour what you earn into the sea, don’t evade your responsibility for family expenses, when you can retrieve the amount you have lost in not teaching English, get your feet back to the ground and open a tutorial centre……”

I prayed to the Lord, “These are your lovely arrangements to illustrate your support for my music studies, are these?”

Since the “no-contract” notification from HKBU, from time to time, I remembered an advice that Maggie told me quite a number of times, “You’ve tried different types of services for some time. It is time to focus your development on one of the many directions.”  One day, Maggie sent me an invitation to a seminar series in Jubilee Ministries, called “Fighting for the Church”. I was idle. I took her invitation and signed up. The speaker for the first seminar is an internationally renowned American pastor, Francis Chan. When asked about why he came to Hong Kong at such a time of confusion and whether he well knew the risk of his visit, Francis said, “I was clear about the risk. But I still chose to come to Hong Kong because I love the Lord. I know He wants me to be here.” Francis asked, “Do you love the Lord? If so, how much? Where will you follow the Lord to? What will you do with Him?” After the seminar, the voice kept echoing in my ears, “Do I love the Lord? If so, how much? Where will I follow the Lord to? What will I do with Him?”

Recalling my experience, I indeed have great interest in learning music, especially composition and arrangement. And I am up to it. I did not lack learning opportunities. But the problem is I did not grasp the chance. I did not trust His guidance and His plan. I made no full commitment in learning music. That was why I was stuck.

I prayed again but what I prayed for changed. I said to the Lord, “I asked You to change my family because I regarded their reaction was more important than your agreement. And it’s unrealistic of me to demand support from my family who knows nothing about music but only money-making. Yet, the biggest problem was, I asked you to grant me a more stable income. This showed that I trusted my deposit amount much more than you. I neither trusted that you would support my pursuance in music, nor believed that you would provide me with all that I needed.

After the prayer, I enrolled in Hong Kong International Institute of Music regardless of my family opposition and drastic fall in income.

To my disappointment, the way did not turn smooth after my enrolment. I did not walk straight towards becoming a composer. Instead, I was faced with struggles after struggles, one day after another. In terms of relationship, every day, I get to face and accept my decision may not be understood or even respected by some of my family members, relatives or friends. In terms of finance, every day, I get to face and accept that my deposit amount is dropping all the way. In terms of myself, every day, I get to face and accept the endless doubt I cast on myself. I cannot tell whether it is finally worth the effort time and money to go for music (according to the value of the world) because even now I have no idea where I am finally heading for.

When I was taking a step after another with my faith as well as my struggle, the Lord started pouring down His provisions. In late 2020, I was introduced to a few more private students. In 2021, I was employed by HKU Space. In October of the same year, I was shown by a church sister to a band room that He had prepared. It is located in Wai Yip Street of Kwun Tong. It is so convenient that it forms a 15-minute music learning circle with my home and the school, both of which are 15 minutes walk and drive away respectively. He even found me a classmate to share the rent of the band room and be a partner along my long music journey. Before moving in, He even  had the academic director show me a first-hand quality but second-hand priced piano - Kawaii K800, saving me as much as around $20,000 and hand me a lovely practical gift - a vacuum cleaner. These are just some of the His many provisions. Many more are yet to come.

On December 7th 2020, I brought Pei Pei and Tung Tung to a dog swimming pool in Wai Kung. Along the Hiram’s Highway, a fire engine suddenly lost control, dashed across at my front onto the kerb on the right, and dragged a bicycle and a cyclist to its underneath. Luckily, the driver had slammed on the brake quickly enough or I would have died. Since then, I came to realise that the time that I have is all the Lord grants me.

Since 2022, I seem to have moved into a new state. I enjoy a relationship with the Lord much closer than ever before. I deeply trust that His direction is the best. I do not focus my prayers on talking the Lord into fulfilling me desire but instead seeking His will in order to adjust my direction forward. I am now much less tied by others’ expectations, of a disposition of much less worries, and much more direct in my communication and efficient in my actions. I have strong faith that I can follow the Lord to a direction that meets His will and suits my character where I will keep maturing and bring blessings to people around.